Sexual Harassment...

Well, here's one take...

Wow.  Pretty stilted and uncomfortable, right? But if you're a person truly worthy of the name GERALD D. ALLGOOD, this is the only Sexual Harassment you need be privy to...

I get SPRUNG....

Spring has arrived, and with it light jackets, lime-infused ales, and impromptu taco cookouts.

Here in Chicago, the sun's return is met with appropriately orgiastic pagan ecstasy after the blighted winter months have all but crushed our spirits.

In short, it's time to bask in the Sound of Rimini*.  It's the musical equivalent of wine cooler.

I understand that in a way this is terrible.  Kasso's tropical, light-disco chiller wouldn't sound out place bumping out of the department store speakers in the khaki-and-teal aisles of Ross Dress For Less.  Nor would it jar you out of an afternoon reverie as you sit in a hot minivan back seat after a day of water-sliding the public pool.  That's why it's great.  It's the sound of mellow nostalgia, all wrapped up in a time capsule of TV-theme pianos and swaying palm fronds.

Here's some more deliciously sun-dazed Kasso.  

There's just something about a white piano on a beach.

*Rimini is a resort town on Italy's Adriatic coast.  We Italo like that.

Mystic Lady / Olden Sleaze Mash-Up

The Mystic Lady employed for erotic commerce: The music of Joanna Newsom's "Sprout and the Bean" is featured in a Victoria's Secret ad.

Lingerie is one thing, but if you wish to improve your sexual potency the old fashioned way; by employing arcane mystical lore, I invite you to listen to Louise Huebner. Oh, she's the "Official Witch of Los Angeles." This is from her 1969 spoken-word album "Seduction Through Witchcraft." Use at your discretion.

Olden Sleaze....

This voiceover sounds like it was written by a sexual predator with a rhyming dictionary and delivered from a waterbed:

Whether you're a sweet petite, long and lean or in between, here's another Chic to fulfill your dreams.

Put this one in your Hobo Bag....